eHarmony’s Thirtieth Dimension of Compatibility?

Many factors contribute to determining the “perfect” potential spouse. While some people may have a laundry list of detailed qualifications, others may only have a few key qualities that they look for in a boyfriend or girlfriend.

When speaking of relationships, it is often said that, “opposites attract.” While the narcissists may choose to differ, the allure of opposing qualities manifests more often than not. The cause of this disparity in ideals is that people seek mates who possess opposing qualities of aspects of their own character that they despise. 

In an attempt to capture spending habits, George Loewenstein introduced the Tightwad-Spendthrift scale. The TW-ST scale represents the polar spending habits of consumers, ranging from the most frugal to the most liberal in terms of consumption. In accordance with the premise that opposites attract, spendthrifts and tightwads are typically attracted toward each other since thrifty people envy the spendthrift’s ability to indulge in purchases and, suffering from nearly perpetual buyer’s remorse, the spendthrifts envy the self-control of the tightwads. 

While it may seem like an ideal situation that tightwads and spendthrifts are attracted to one another, their relationship does not form a meeting of the minds or anywhere near a balance of the extreme spending habits. In fact, disparity in spending habits is one of the leading causes of marital strife. Especially now, during a recession, finances are a concern for many couples/families. An already tense subject – finances – easily leads to more dispute in a marriage when coupled with future economic uncertainty and unemployment.

Most people’s habits lie closer to the mid ranges of the scale, but not every couple is so fortunate. Spending habits are not easily changed and are formed over time by a variety of contributing factors. When a family is very financially secure and/or during times of economic prosperity, the difference in spending habits is not quite as influential on a spousal happiness, but as financial concerns take the forefront of discussion friction arises. My advice: maybe after “for richer, for poorer” in the wedding vows, “for frugality, for squandering” should be added. Just a thought.